Wanted!

Wanted!
Under Penalty of Law!
The Evidence:

The Crime:

So, the other evening I found the above item in Seville's diaper bag. Alarmed at being in possession of such incriminating evidence I asked Jared, "what the heck is this?"

There was a big sigh. Then, "I'll tell you what that is..." he said, and proceeded to fill me in on the dreadful details.

That afternoon Seville accompanied us to a meeting with our mortgage broker. Having her along wasn't our first choice, but she's a really good kid. We figured she could crawl around his office while we chatted about grown-up things. Of course, she mostly wanted to crawl around on our legs and under our chairs, despite the acres of office available to her that were not riddled with wooden, sharp-cornered, obstructive furniture. Still... she did pretty ok. OR SO I THOUGHT!

Turns out that while I excused myself to powder my nose, Jared was talking to Mr. Broker and looked down to see that Seville had torn half of the 'DO NOT REMOVE' tag from underneath Mr. Broker's fancy guest-chair that Jared was sitting in. Mr. Broker couldn't see this, because he was behind his fancy voluminous mahogany desk. Jared, embarrassed at her behavior or his lack of paying attention or something, nonchalantly hid the evidence in the diaper bag under some cheerios and a stuffed bear. As he bent down, to his horror, he saw that the other half of said evidence was dangling for all to see from underneath his nether-regions. Seeing as he had already begun to weave the tangled web (how do you explain half the tag hanging, the other half deep in your diaper bag?) he tried to carry on the conversation as if nothing was happening, while using one hand to silently wrench the rest of the tag -- illegally, I might add -- from the fancy chair. What Mr. Broker thought Jared was doing so heartily with his hand under his derriere I can only guess. But he was either professional enough to act like he didn't notice or else he was oblivious enough really not to. By the time I re-entered the room, the crime was complete.

I wonder... if Seville commits anything more serious as a young adult, will she manage to get daddy wrapped up in that one too?

The Criminal Record:

Surveillance cameras also caught the suspect below:

Removing EVERY SINGLE pink tissue from the box while I was on the phone (the pink ones are my favorite, and you can't find them all the time. sniff) Obviously, it was too cute to stop her.