Well, I'm back, I'm alive, no drama to report. I had about 8 hours of chemo today. While there are roughly a million things I'd rather do than spend 8 hours receiving chemo, it really wasn't that bad. Mostly, I'm just kind of wiped out.
The biggest news is actually that they modified my diagnosis. Because my doctor is pretty cutting edge when it comes to lymphoma, he's got access to some advanced molecular analysis tools for researching and diagnosing lymphomas. He said that as recently as a year or two ago, he would have diagnosed me with NSHD (my initial diagnosis) and left it at that. But thanks to the cutting edge research techniques, the analysis revealed a slightly different picture. Based on the molecular markers, I actually have large diffuse B-cell lymphoma, which is actually a form of non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. The two lymphomas are very similar in both their manifestations and treatments.
The large B-cell lymphoma does respond better to a different chemo regimen. So, instead of doing the ABVD regimen, I'm on the R-CHOP regimen. The reason it took so long today was that Rituxan (the R in R-CHOP) takes like 4 hours to tranfuse. Overall, it looks as though I'm going to do 6 cycles (6 months) of R-CHOP instead of 4 cycles of ABVD. The good news, however, is that I won't have to do radiation afterwards. While people receive radiation all the time, there are more long term side effects to radiation - so that's good that I can skip that part.
Mostly, I'm just tired right now - I haven't felt sick at all. There's a metallic taste in my mouth that probably won't go away for 6 months, but I can live with that. All in all, I have to confess that I thought that after 8 hours of having toxic chemicals pumped into my bloodstream, I would feel worse. Maybe I will feel worse later. They made their point about the toxicity of the chemicals when they asked if we had pets. Skye told them that we had a cat. Does your cat ever drink out of the toilet? Why yes he does (much to my dismay, this is his favorite place to drink). They told us that we must keep the toilet lids closed because our cat could die from the toxic chemicals I'll be peeing for the next 6 months. So, there's something to think about....
I was a little nervous going into today, but it worked out just fine. Your words of encouragement, your thoughts and prayers helped me today. Thanks.
Friday, August 10, 2007
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5 comments:
Wow Jared. Is it right to say "good job"? I never really knew what was entailed with chemo.I feel silly that I assumed it was chemicals in pill form or simple quick injections. You hear it all the time but don't know exactly how it's done until it comes to you or someone close I guess. I am wondering what your work situation is/will be.
Sending Neaman prayers your way.
Take care :)
Many thoughts, but the one that keeps persisting is that it's kind of cool to have toxic chemical pee, at least in an abstract sense. Like being able to spit acid or something.
And, as Emily might tell you from my experiences with her and medical proceedures, I'm not at all out of touch with the gravity of the situation, but I don't think ANYONE is, so the stuff that I usually do let come out of my mouth are usually kind of inane, goofy, or both... in short, more James.
So glad that you made it okay through your first treatment. I had no idea it would take 8 hours! Crazy! I'm glad you didn't get sick. Don't feel bad that Richard Parker likes to drink from the toilet. Even Maddy does it sometimes! Oh you wait for little Seville to become mobile. I guess it's a blessing that she isn't right now... :) Talk to you soon!
The Paulks
Goodness. I'm just glad things are moving along quickly and with such precision! It sounds as if your doctor is a perfect match for you.
I'm actually surprised you have the metal mouth already. I don't claim to be an expert, but from the experience I've had (taking care of 3 parents with cancer), the only advice I can really give you through chemo is to remain hydrated. Water might even somehow taste gross to you at some points.
Thank you for keeping us updated. It's good to hear you continue to be in good hands!
I was just reading soulofthemoons blog and found out about the cancer.
I have a family member that has worked in the oncology ward for 14 years and it's hard. It's taken quite a toll on her as she has come to know the people and then not have it work out. She would tell me about how so and so died and how many people were left behind who needed them.
I guess she never really told me about the ones who got better and went into remission.
I remember when both of you were in the single adult ward. I remember a lot of things about you from then and some here and there since.
It might be harder for you to take this attitude about this but I think it's a great opportunity to know Heavenly Father better.
Every time when I pray I say to Heavenly Father how stupid I feel praying because I'm asking, seeking, hoping and pouring my heart out for answers that He already knows. I say I know He knows the whole picture and I can barely see in front of my face. Then I say I don't know what's going to happen between now and the completion of the picture of my eternal happiness, but as long as in the end I return home with Him again.
Then gratitutde usually fills me to tears and sometimes joy and love fills me in a way where I lose it for a long time and just cry, not sadness but pure joy and love knowing that Heavenly Father wants me to have the whole picture of pure love and happiness.
I know He is creating a picture for each of us that will allow us to see His hand in our lives. This also allows us to have an immense amount of joy in knowing God knows and loves us.
Then as I'm in the midst of this immense joy I think of the Savior. I think man this sucks for me and yet I don't have it anywhere near as hard as most people on earth and that Jesus has suffered it all for everyone. The Holy Ghost then fills me and brings incredible joy and gratitude for our Savior.
It's at this point where I feel so intense and that nothing can stop me from progressing and completing the most amazing picture I could imagine.
Whatever both of your pictures hold, I silenty and pretty much anonymously route for your success and happiness.
A trial of our faith only means, do we still desire the same desire no matter what happens? Can we still hold a desire for the complete picture of total happpines in the end? Then if we can there's nothing in the universe that will keep any of us from achieving that.
Here's to complete happiness and eternal progression, not in our time but in Heavenly Fathers time. Doing it His way will bring us the greatest amount of joy.
Ryan
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