A Family of Geniuses

My family is full of geniuses (just call us the Pixton-Tenenbaums). First Amy with the TyBooks, then Clay with this idea! I got an email from him today. I was so impressed with his idea, I had to share:

Guys! I have an awesome idea for a new product/invention (Amy thinks she's so smart with TyBook). You know us men and fathers of multiples have our pet peeves too, and as they say, pet peeves are the mother of invention. Anyway, my pet peeve is never being able to find one of the three cordless phones we have in the house without scrambling all around in a panic when it rings, trying to listen to it, not finding it in any likely places, yelling at my kids to be quiet, waiting for the next ring, etc. Who wants to go through that every time the phone rings? Not me. I don't believe any man does.

But I've thought of a solution, and I believe technology has just reached the point that it can happen. I'm going to invent a phone that is physically tied to a spot in the house. That's right, it can no longer get lost! Just follow the string, and there you go! Piece of cake. But did you think I was going to use just any string? No, it will be a rubberized, curly retractable string, to minimize tangling (I'm a genius!). Never again will we have to hunt for a ringing phone!!! To make things even more convenient, I will make it with a hook on the base part, with a special sensor, so that if it ISN'T on the hook it will beep loudly until you put it back! Foolproof!!

This phone does everything, you're thinking. But I haven't even told you my best most revolutionary feature. This phone's battery will never die! That's right, it will NEVER DIE, because hidden inside the curly cord will be a tiny wire that carries the signal from the phone to the actual phone lines. No need for a battery! (Books for babies--HA! This will revolutionize the WORLD!!!) To top it off I will make it in a stylish black with a nice big handle for ergonomics (instead of today's dinky little things that just get lost in between couch cushions like a quarter), with a nice prominent round mouthpiece and earpiece, permanently affixed so you don't have to even open it! Talk about easy!

Now just when you thought I've thought of it all and then some, haven't you ever accidentally hung up on your conversation-mate because your face pressed a button, or pressed a button and it beeped and the person on the other end asked if you were still there, or you accidentally quick-dialed some number and you can't figure out what's going on and your conversation is basically ruined? Well no more! Because with this new phone (look out, iPhone) the buttons are all on the part that's connected to your wall or sitting on your desk! So that will never again be a problem! (I'll be accepting investments immediately.)

Speaking of Apple products I plan to roll out a model with an extremely easy-to-use user interface which consists of a kind of scroll wheel, except a physical, three-dimentional one that you can put your fingers in, to dial numbers. Kind of like an iPod, only more up to date. Truly ahead of its time. But like I always say, where there's a will, there's a way, and the brilliant minds of our day drive technology and advancement to new heights.

So that's my new invention. Please keep this a secret for now, as I'll be soon entering the process of applying for patents, etc. (Jared, I'll be giving you a call.) But I wanted you all to be able to share in my excitement. Do let me know what you think!

Clay